It looks like my plan to celebrate autumn is working.
Normally, I try to never rush the time. If I want a moment to pass faster, I keep reminding myself that when it passes, the moment will never be back. It is only given once, and bad or good, it must be treasured. I have to elaborate a little here:
Infertility does not have any “benefits”; but what it gives us is an opportunity to observe more than a fertile woman does. Which is neither good, nor bad. It’s just a “side effect.” We observe, and imagine what kind of mother we would be. We observe, and image what we would do differently. We observe, and we do things a pregnant woman, or a mother, wouldn’t do, just because they don’t have an opportunity to do it (get drunk? - yes, this is in our top ten things to do list). I was lucky enough to get pregnant after all; that’s why I was given a chance to realize that infertility taught me something I probably wouldn’t have learned if I was fertile. NB: While you are fighting to get pregnant, you are not learning anything. But if you do get pregnant, you are given a chance to slow down, take a deep breath, and look from the side at your own life and experience you gained while being infertile. When I re-evaluated myself, I found that I learned how to find pleasure in life when there is barely any pleasure to be found. I learned that I am now able to see a lot more beauty in every day than I was before. I guess, you have to master a skill of being happy somehow when THE thing that should have made you the happiest woman on earth is not happening to you. I also learned that I am now a lot more patient. Hmm, perhaps, I should have said it differently. I learned that there is no point in being impatient. No matter how much you are rushing things, they will not happen just because you cannot wait for them to happen. Unlike feelings, such as anger, or being nervous, or being jealous, which you cannot control easily, your quality of being impatient is quite simple to subdue. You can try to do it, and you will see for yourself. I am still impatient when it comes to a lot of things in everyday life; but generally, when there is something big I am waiting for, I learned how not to rush it. So, waiting for my son to be born is not simple. But definitely manageable! In July, I sat down and thought of how I was going to spend my time waiting for his arrival. Shopping? Decorating the nursery? Joining some kind of endless everything-you-need-to-know-about-your-baby class? All of this was not for me. What really did interest me, though, was to create a bunch of “milestones” which we would move to every week. I wanted to plan something interesting for as many weekends as I could, so “milestones” would come soon enough, but they themselves would be worth to wait. Mike and I love road trips, so for the months of September and October I planned some cool short half-day getaways. This also gave us an opportunity to celebrate fall, which we both are fond of. Finally, we were able to travel with Ralph, who is a true member of our family, and who deserves to see the world, too. Last weekend, we went to Saratoga (read about the trip here), and today we went to North-South Lake Campground, which is near Hunter, NY.
My original plan, and the highlight of the trip, was to see Kaaterskill Falls. I thought we would hike to the falls, and then, we would move to the campground, have a picnic lunch there, perhaps explore a couple of trails and go home. However – and another thing I learned during infertility – my plan went crushing down; but I was prepared for it to happen, and was opened to whatever would have come instead. We drove past the falls, but we were not able to stop the car and park. The waterfall is located in the middle of the scenic view road, which is a classic windy road with mountains on one side and nothing of the other. The designated parking lot fits barely 12-15 cars, and at the time we were passing it, it was completely full. We did see the falls from the car window, though, and, like I honestly was suspecting, poor waterfall was lacking water. Unfortunately, due to such a dry summer and September, the waterfall lost all its power and therefore beauty. We continued driving, and decided we would try to stop there again on the way back.
When we arrived to the campground, we first had lunch. We were not allowed by the water with the dog, but they have a gazillion picnic tables all around the grounds.
Then, we went hiking. Mike is definitely not a hiker, but he really enjoys long walks. I myself am now being very cautious with where and how I am going and what I am doing; so, when we saw a steep hill, or a too small of a path, we would turn around and change the direction.
We were walking like that for about three hours. The weather was gorgeous: Crisp mountain air, soft but still warm autumn sun, and blue cloudless sky. Ralph was doing what he does best – following his nose barely even looking around; Mike was enjoying his vapor and taking pictures of me and Ralphie; and I couldn’t take smile off of my face and hand off of my belly. We ended up hiking to a beautiful spot on top of the mountain overlooking Catskills. Stunning!
The best part about leaving early in the morning is that we were able to come back home by 5 PM and have the whole Saturday evening for ourselves.
Next weekend, we are taking a break. Another lesson I learned – Kat, do not overdo it!! Happy 23 weeks to us!
Normally, I try to never rush the time. If I want a moment to pass faster, I keep reminding myself that when it passes, the moment will never be back. It is only given once, and bad or good, it must be treasured. I have to elaborate a little here:
Infertility does not have any “benefits”; but what it gives us is an opportunity to observe more than a fertile woman does. Which is neither good, nor bad. It’s just a “side effect.” We observe, and imagine what kind of mother we would be. We observe, and image what we would do differently. We observe, and we do things a pregnant woman, or a mother, wouldn’t do, just because they don’t have an opportunity to do it (get drunk? - yes, this is in our top ten things to do list). I was lucky enough to get pregnant after all; that’s why I was given a chance to realize that infertility taught me something I probably wouldn’t have learned if I was fertile. NB: While you are fighting to get pregnant, you are not learning anything. But if you do get pregnant, you are given a chance to slow down, take a deep breath, and look from the side at your own life and experience you gained while being infertile. When I re-evaluated myself, I found that I learned how to find pleasure in life when there is barely any pleasure to be found. I learned that I am now able to see a lot more beauty in every day than I was before. I guess, you have to master a skill of being happy somehow when THE thing that should have made you the happiest woman on earth is not happening to you. I also learned that I am now a lot more patient. Hmm, perhaps, I should have said it differently. I learned that there is no point in being impatient. No matter how much you are rushing things, they will not happen just because you cannot wait for them to happen. Unlike feelings, such as anger, or being nervous, or being jealous, which you cannot control easily, your quality of being impatient is quite simple to subdue. You can try to do it, and you will see for yourself. I am still impatient when it comes to a lot of things in everyday life; but generally, when there is something big I am waiting for, I learned how not to rush it. So, waiting for my son to be born is not simple. But definitely manageable! In July, I sat down and thought of how I was going to spend my time waiting for his arrival. Shopping? Decorating the nursery? Joining some kind of endless everything-you-need-to-know-about-your-baby class? All of this was not for me. What really did interest me, though, was to create a bunch of “milestones” which we would move to every week. I wanted to plan something interesting for as many weekends as I could, so “milestones” would come soon enough, but they themselves would be worth to wait. Mike and I love road trips, so for the months of September and October I planned some cool short half-day getaways. This also gave us an opportunity to celebrate fall, which we both are fond of. Finally, we were able to travel with Ralph, who is a true member of our family, and who deserves to see the world, too. Last weekend, we went to Saratoga (read about the trip here), and today we went to North-South Lake Campground, which is near Hunter, NY.
My original plan, and the highlight of the trip, was to see Kaaterskill Falls. I thought we would hike to the falls, and then, we would move to the campground, have a picnic lunch there, perhaps explore a couple of trails and go home. However – and another thing I learned during infertility – my plan went crushing down; but I was prepared for it to happen, and was opened to whatever would have come instead. We drove past the falls, but we were not able to stop the car and park. The waterfall is located in the middle of the scenic view road, which is a classic windy road with mountains on one side and nothing of the other. The designated parking lot fits barely 12-15 cars, and at the time we were passing it, it was completely full. We did see the falls from the car window, though, and, like I honestly was suspecting, poor waterfall was lacking water. Unfortunately, due to such a dry summer and September, the waterfall lost all its power and therefore beauty. We continued driving, and decided we would try to stop there again on the way back.
When we arrived to the campground, we first had lunch. We were not allowed by the water with the dog, but they have a gazillion picnic tables all around the grounds.
Then, we went hiking. Mike is definitely not a hiker, but he really enjoys long walks. I myself am now being very cautious with where and how I am going and what I am doing; so, when we saw a steep hill, or a too small of a path, we would turn around and change the direction.
We were walking like that for about three hours. The weather was gorgeous: Crisp mountain air, soft but still warm autumn sun, and blue cloudless sky. Ralph was doing what he does best – following his nose barely even looking around; Mike was enjoying his vapor and taking pictures of me and Ralphie; and I couldn’t take smile off of my face and hand off of my belly. We ended up hiking to a beautiful spot on top of the mountain overlooking Catskills. Stunning!
The best part about leaving early in the morning is that we were able to come back home by 5 PM and have the whole Saturday evening for ourselves.
 |
| Scenic upstate roads. So cozy! |
Next weekend, we are taking a break. Another lesson I learned – Kat, do not overdo it!! Happy 23 weeks to us!
Be First to Post Comment !
Post a Comment