I cannot believe how stormy it is outside! When it rains, it pours. Meaning, when it snows, it buries. Perfect day to start writing again.
I am 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant today. Of course, I was hoping that by this time, we will already have our son born and at home. However, it looks like he decided to stay put for a while longer. I do not have any signs of labor, and I do not think he will be born let’s say, today, or even tomorrow. Although, like everything else, it will happen when you are least expecting it to happen.
At the same time, I am still hoping that I will have a natural birth without any meds. Yesterday, I had an NST test done, and the doctor almost sent me to the hospital to be induced that same day! He ended up letting me go, but while I was lying there, preparing to be sent to the hospital to have the baby yesterday, a million thoughts ran through my head. I was really surprised and disappointed in myself to realize that I was upset about things going not was way I wanted them to go. I cannot believe that after all I’ve been through, I still get frustrated if things are not going according to my “master-plan.” The only reason why I did not want to be sent to the hospital yesterday was the induction part: Induction means Pitocin; Pitocin means that I will not have a natural labor. My body will be rejecting the hormone since it’s not ready to give birth yet, so I will have a long, long labor. I will be hooked to a monitor for hours and hours, from the beginning to end, will be forced to stay in bed, and finally, I don’t think that I will be able to handle pain for such a long time confined in bed, and I will have to request an epidural. Basically, a complete opposite to the birth I imaged. Which is fine! And I thought I was ready for this kind of labor too, even a c-section if necessary, as long as my son is born healthy. Turns out, I wasn’t ready at all. I was trying to work on my state of mind while I was waiting for the doctor’s final decision, but I don’t think I was able to stop opposing the possible unnatural birth. My next appointment is on Tuesday, and by that time, I am truly hoping I will be ready to go to the hospital that same day and do whatever has to be done.
(Well, what I truly hoping for is that the baby will decide to show up on his own before this appointment!! Haha. I am terrible. I will accept things the way they are. Really.)
Meanwhile, here is the baby’s nursery:
And here is a picture of my growing belly:
I actually think my belly looks bigger in person, but maybe that’s just how I feel it. As of yesterday, his weight was about 7.2 lb, so the size of the belly really has nothing to do with the size of the baby.
I am 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant today. Of course, I was hoping that by this time, we will already have our son born and at home. However, it looks like he decided to stay put for a while longer. I do not have any signs of labor, and I do not think he will be born let’s say, today, or even tomorrow. Although, like everything else, it will happen when you are least expecting it to happen.
At the same time, I am still hoping that I will have a natural birth without any meds. Yesterday, I had an NST test done, and the doctor almost sent me to the hospital to be induced that same day! He ended up letting me go, but while I was lying there, preparing to be sent to the hospital to have the baby yesterday, a million thoughts ran through my head. I was really surprised and disappointed in myself to realize that I was upset about things going not was way I wanted them to go. I cannot believe that after all I’ve been through, I still get frustrated if things are not going according to my “master-plan.” The only reason why I did not want to be sent to the hospital yesterday was the induction part: Induction means Pitocin; Pitocin means that I will not have a natural labor. My body will be rejecting the hormone since it’s not ready to give birth yet, so I will have a long, long labor. I will be hooked to a monitor for hours and hours, from the beginning to end, will be forced to stay in bed, and finally, I don’t think that I will be able to handle pain for such a long time confined in bed, and I will have to request an epidural. Basically, a complete opposite to the birth I imaged. Which is fine! And I thought I was ready for this kind of labor too, even a c-section if necessary, as long as my son is born healthy. Turns out, I wasn’t ready at all. I was trying to work on my state of mind while I was waiting for the doctor’s final decision, but I don’t think I was able to stop opposing the possible unnatural birth. My next appointment is on Tuesday, and by that time, I am truly hoping I will be ready to go to the hospital that same day and do whatever has to be done.
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| Lazy Saturday. It's snowing! Missing Ralphie, who is at the daycare until tomorrow (in case I go into labor). I look tired, but the truth is, simply no make up. Sad, but true!.. |
(Well, what I truly hoping for is that the baby will decide to show up on his own before this appointment!! Haha. I am terrible. I will accept things the way they are. Really.)
Meanwhile, here is the baby’s nursery:
And here is a picture of my growing belly:
I actually think my belly looks bigger in person, but maybe that’s just how I feel it. As of yesterday, his weight was about 7.2 lb, so the size of the belly really has nothing to do with the size of the baby.
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